When I was little, everyone said I had too much imagination.
Decades later, a newscaster on the radio mentioned an apartment housefire. I got pictures of a woman and small child alone in a room… and suddenly realized it WASN’T imagination: all those years, whether it’d been stuff to make/draw, sudden fears of the dark or the forest, whatever– all these years I’d been picking up stuff on the Airwaves. I still wonder if anyone rescued those 2 from the burning building…
And here I am right now, awake in the wee small ones, with every reason to be asleep, except that I’m NOT… sometimes I could blame this state on exhausted adrenals, menopausal upheavals, inappropriate food choices… but more and more it seems the planet is going through her own changes, and humans are behaving badly in response, and the airwaves wash this over me when I should be wandering in my dream world.
About 1985 it struck me that Time had been speeding up for quite a stretch there. At first I figured that impression was a result of my own increasing years: each day was a smaller percentage of my life, so appeared to be passing quicker. Remember, in the early school grades, shuffling home in September on sidewalks crowded with fallen maple leaves, and contemplating how very long it would be ’til next summer vacation? Like that…
I took a poll of this matter– usually while waiting in line at supermarket checkout stands, whoever was in front or behind me. A goodly random sample, dontchathink?: young, old, fit, able, all sexes– and all, to a one, also carried this perception of someone having cranked up the clocks.
Well, there IS an electromagnetic pulse to the earth, sort of a heartbeat. Seems it ran along at 7 megawhats for about ever, and now, since the early ’70’s, has been speeding up. What, is it about 12 now? Quite a change. And THAT is where this hurry-up, no-time feeling is coming from.
My Church of the Open Forest has a basic tenet: Every step a blessing, every breath a prayer. Keeps one in the moment, keeps inner life and outer life connected.
We matter. We make a difference. How we are affects things, things like the planet, and She needs help.
Okayyyy…. so now lurks the temptation of a major RANT about techno societies… consumerism… warmongering… you know all these issues…
I had a nightmare after we moved to Oregon– I was standing in back of the old house in a spaceship uniform, with terror squeezing the pit of my stomach as I realized THERE IS NO ESCAPE: no matter how far out of town I moved, no matter how little contact/dependence I had on society— just by virtue of the fact that I was standing on Planet Earth at this moment meant that I AM PART OF THIS SCENE, inescapably!!
So now: how shall I spend this coming day? And I don’t mean checking off items on my Gotta-Gotta list… What’s REALLY important, the greatest good? How may I be of service? After all these years, Ayala is learning how to listen, how to stay right here right now… and all the rest falls into place.
Hey, this is all deep, and heavy, and dark… but I love you and am so glad of your presence and your company, especially just before sunrise. Sending a spark to you from my heart.